Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
