420 ftw
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
