The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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