my mouth tastes like poor choices
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
