my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
