Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
