How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
