It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
