this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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