i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
