yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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