Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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