The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
