He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
