we have pet lesbian snakes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
