At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
