great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
