She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
