I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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