he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
