Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
