Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't turn off my feet"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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