she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
