I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
