He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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