Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
