Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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