Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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