the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
