oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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