Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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