U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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