you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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