Kiss
Puke
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
