Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
