We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize