Little spoons don't ask big questions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
