Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
