Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
