walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
