Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
