Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
