so let's talk penis.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Please don't give away my fajitas
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
