Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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