yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
