Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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