she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
