This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
