he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
