actually, I'm a sock model
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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