Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
