I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
two words: eviction party
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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