do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
