Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
