Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
